The TBoD Podcast – Home Alone – Christmas Special

home alone

Seasons greetings you filthy animals. Some of you may remember we did something a little special for Christmas last year, if you don’t that doesn’t matter because we have something even better for you in this festive season.

Apologies for the delay, the edit for this was insane, stick around after the credits for some bonus content.

Happy belated Christmas and enjoy the show.

Quivin Ninjillister – The Quim Ninja

Marvwad – Cribot aka Gazwad

Harremenko/Harrenko (depending on what that part of the script stated) – eremenko

Soundboard Excellence – Emma

Right click and hit ‘save link as’ to download

Halo Echo: Chapter 1

In 2517, Dr. Catherine Halsey kidnaps seventy-five children for the Orion II project. After the augmentation process, thirty-three Spartan super-soldiers remained. Unbeknownst to Dr. Halsey, six others survived the augmentation process. They were handpicked by Admiral Margret Parangosky to be her personal special ops force. Codenamed Echo team, they would be used throughout the insurrectionist war as well as the Human – Covenant War. At the conclusion of the war, Echo team was just as valuable, aiding in eliminating any and all threats to the fragile peace that was in place. Now under direction of Admiral Serin Osman, Echo still leads harrowing missions into enemy territory, all for the protection of the human race.

Date: April 2558; ONI Prowler, UNSC Reaper of Souls; Location: Classified (Somewhere in covenant controlled space)

Deep within Covenant held space, The UNSC Reaper of Souls shadows the Covenant Fleet of Indignant Retribution. The Reaper’s cloak masks their presence as they search for their target. The Reapers crew seeks the fleet’s flagship, more importantly the commander of the fleet, Lat ‘Onis. During the Human-Covenant war, ‘Onis commanded a battlecruiser in the Fleet of Righteous Purpose. He took part in many engagements including the glassing of Reach. After the Great Schism he joined the Servants of Abiding Truth in an attempt to reunify the Covenant by eliminating the Arbiter and quieting his supporters. “We’ve located him sir,” exclaims the sensor officer. “Very well, have Echo team report to my ready room,” Captain Jones responds.  Captain J.P. Jones is a career naval officer. He joined the service toward the end of the Human-Covenant war and was offered a position with ONI upon his graduation from the Naval Academy. He is one of the youngest ship commanders in the fleet but has proved himself worthy many times. He is known as daring and bold in his attacks but very mature in nature. He enters the ready room as Echo team has already assembled. At the desk is a holo-projection of the covenant carrier as well as Echo teams A.I. Samantha.  Captain Jones addresses echo team, “I know you men have been asked to do a lot, but I have another tough one for you. Tensions between the UNSC and what’s left of the Covenant have been strained to say the least. A week ago a civilian transport was attacked by a Covey cruiser. That cruiser was tasked by The Fleet of Indignant Retribution. The carrier Bringer of Truth is the fleet’s flagship. On board is the Fleet Master, Lat ‘Onis. He is to be captured and brought back to The Reaper. ONI believes he is trying to reunite the splintered Sangheili tribes so he can reform the covenant. This mission is of the utmost importance and must not fail.” Captain Jones turns to Echo team’s leader, Aaron, to continue the briefing.

Commander Sierra 012 Aaron rises to his feet to address his men. Aaron is the epitome of a spartan. He is a crack shot and an ace pilot. He’s a brilliant tactician and a natural leader. All though equals, the rest of Echo team has always looked up to Aaron. While a superior soldier, he has suffered from a lack of respect toward authority and has been, at times, overzealous in battle. These traits that have garnered the ire of his ONI handlers have endeared him to his men and created an unbreakable bond amongst them. Aaron addresses his team, “We know the current path of the carrier and have spotted a debris field close to their current trajectory. We will leave on booster frames and be sent adrift in the field. Once the carrier has passed we will follow behind in their wake and land on the ship making our way to here,” pointing to a hanger bay door on the schematic of the covenant carrier. “We will enter the carrier and find the nearest computer terminal. Samantha will locate ‘Onis and we will pick the quietest way to him. We will do all we can to avoid contact till the target is secure. Make sure everyone has one silenced weapon on them. Once the package is secure, we radio Reaper for pick up. We will make our way to the nearest hanger bay and grapple gun out on pelican 2-niner, any questions.” Jack looks to the commander, “What kind of resistance are we expecting?”

Sierra 064 Lieutenant Jack is Echo teams second in command, a rock solid officer and an even more loyal spartan. Jack was originally the leader of Echo team. In their first engagement, Echo team was surrounded and Jack froze in the moment. Aaron stepped up and led the team to safety. From that moment Aaron has led Echo. Though uncomfortable at first, Aaron and Jack learned to coexist and Jack accepted his role as first officer. “Resistance will be heavy. The fleet is a full battle fleet with ground forces and special ops. There is also an unknown amount of Zealots on board the carrier. The less attention we can attract, the better,” Aaron responds. Echo team’s pilot Vince chimes in afterward, “Those engines are going to be throwing off a lot of heat. Will our shields hold long enough?”

Sierra 077 Vince is the ultimate pilot. He can fly or drive anything better and faster than any other human. As long as it has an engine, he can pilot it. He has a very cold and rough personality. Some of the ONI doctors worried about his inclusion into the spartan program fearing a mental instability. This trait was exactly what Admiral Parangosky liked most about Vince. He would be willing to take on any task without as much as a second thought. Aaron informs the team “We will use the power from the Gauss cannon to boost our shielding, trading fire power for defense. The boosted shields will have enough strength to make it through to the ship. Any other questions?” asks Aaron. The team nods in agreement and with their mission clear, Echo makes their way to the hanger bay. A silent calm washes over the team as they focus on the mission at hand, knowing the danger the lies in front of them.

The Reaper makes its way to the debris field and de-cloaks as Echo exits the hanger bay and takes their positions. Before long the covenant fleet streams past and Echo team begins their pursuit. The ride up to the carrier is rough. The heat being thrown off by the carrier’s engines is immense, the small booster frames getting thrown around like dice. Echo manages to maneuver past the engine blast and up to the hanger entrance. The booster frames land with a thud as the magnetic landers suck tight to the hull of the covenant carrier. The team exits their boosters and approaches the hanger door. Aaron and Evan peer into the bay.

Sierra 016 Evan is Echo teams Scout/Sniper. He’s an expert marksman and an extremely stealthy scout. He has always been the pretty boy of the group. Blonde hair and blue eyes have made him quite the ladies’ man, and gotten him plenty of ribbing from the rest of the team. He and Aaron have developed a good friendship over the years. Anywhere Aaron would go, Evan would be right at his side, earning him the nickname shadow. Evan peers into the hanger to reconnoiter the situation. Evan informs Aaron, “I’ve got two grunts guarding the entrance. They’re sleeping.” Aaron smirks, “Lazy little sloths. Take them out quietly.” Evan pulls out his silenced magnum pistol and activates is active-camo. He enters the hanger bay and slides up to the two sleeping grunts. He pulls out his knife and plunges the blade into one of the grunts skulls. The other grunt awakens, startled as Evan de-cloaks and lands a single headshot directly through the cranium of the second grunt. Evan signals the rest of echo with the distinct six tone whistle of Oly Oly Oxen Free, or all clear. The rest of Echo team enters the hanger bay and Aaron makes his way over to a terminal near the doorway and plugs his A.I. chip in. Samantha pops up and begins searching.

Samantha has been Echo team’s A.I. for two years now. Commander Aaron carries her in his helmet but she is able to monitor the entire team wirelessly. She’s blonde with reading glasses and a British accent. She has a bit of a sassy elegance to her. She was cloned from a doctor that worked for Oni several years earlier. Samantha runs a quick search of the ship and locates ‘Onis. “I’ve got him. He’s three decks up and eight sections forward. We can take a service tunnel up from here and there will be a corridor on your left. We can take that all the way forward. I’m marking a waypoint now. Pull me commander.”  Echo deftly moves forward through the ship, taking out several guards and sentries along the way. They approach the door to ‘Onis’s quarters and prepare to move in. The door pops open and the team rushes in like a gust of wind. They move so quick that ‘Onis is on the ground and cuffed before he even realizes what has happened. Aaron orders Ryan and Silas to secure the prisoner for transport.

Sierra 032 Lieutenant Ryan, Echo team’s intelligence officer, is Echo’s resident genius. He can hack into any system, human or covenant. He is also Echo team’s medical officer and engineer. If Echo team needs to destroy something, he knows just where to hit it. He’s the youngest member of Echo, making him the “little brother” of echo.

Sierra 091 Silas is one of the biggest spartans on record at 7’4” and 325 lbs. His specialties include heavy weapons and hand to hand combat. Off the battlefield he is a gentle giant with a heart of gold, on it, he’s a ferocious fighter and as loyal as they come. Aaron depends on him as Echo’s rear guard. His favorite tool of destruction is the shotgun that he commonly wields. Aaron radios back to the ship, “Reaper, we have the package and are moving to extract.” Captain Jones responds, “Roger that Echo, pelican 2-niner is on standby.”

Echo moves through the narrow corridors towards the extraction point when they are confronted by a squad of jackals. Aaron shouts, “Hostiles forward, weapons free.” The team opens fire as a hail of bullets makes short work of the overmatched foes. Echo hastens their pace now as the entire ship is awash with the sound of alarms. The entire ships garrison has been alerted to their presence. It won’t be long before more trouble is headed their way. About fifty yards from the hanger they encounter a large group of twenty covenant soldiers.  Echo splits, taking cover in doorways. They begin working through the hostiles, gunfire ringing throughout every nook and cranny of the hallway, as they take out their foes, one by one. “Watch the right side Vince. You’ve got two coming up,” warns Aaron. Vince turns his pistol and drops two grunts with two precise headshots. Two elites charge toward the team. Aaron signals to Evan, “Two on the left moving up. You got them?” Evan trains his sniper rifle on the two approaching elites and lets two shots fly. The 114 mm ammo screams through the air as both rounds hit their targets. The squish of flesh and crack of bone ring out as the two elites drop dead in their tracks from two bull’s-eye head shots. Echo clears the hallway and guardedly approaches the hanger bay door.

The door opens to fifty plus covenant waiting as they enter the room. The entire team fans out like a tidal wave, rolling up the enemies as it crashes upon them. “Three coming up the middle, Ryan watch the prisoner. Silas, come up to support!” Aaron calls out above the fracas. Silas steps to the forefront wielding his M90 shotgun. With three mighty blasts he drops the three sword wielding elites in succession. Their corpses fall to the deck with a thud. Jack signals Aaron, “Four coming up on your left commander.” Aaron turns, producing two spartan knives. He thrusts both knives down striking one in the face and the other in the neck. The two trailing grunts turn and run. He sends one knife whistling through the air as it hits one of the cowards in the back of the head. He simultaneously pulls out his pistol and drops the other one with one shot clean through the back of the skull. He walks up to pull his knife out of the grunt when he hears the sizzle of an energy sword an energy sword behind him. He turns on a dime and sinks his knife into the side of the camoed elite. Aaron then stands and looks at the wounded elite as it de-cloaks. He raises his second knife and buries it deep into the elite’s throat. The look of terror on the elite’s face is haunting as his life is extinguished and his body crashes to the floor with a thump. Calmly, Aaron turns to his team and orders them to ready their grapple guns. Aaron reaches down and grabs an elite ranger helmet off the deck and slaps it over ‘Onis’s head. “Here, you’re going to need this,” he quips. The pelican takes its position outside the hanger bays shield. Echo fires their hooks out into the pelican’s back door. They hook up to the lines as a team of elite zealots bursts into the hanger bay. Aaron looks up at them as the grappling line tightens. He raises his hand towards the zealots and waves with a smirk as the entire team gets sucked out of the bay. The pelican reels them in and plunges into the hanger bay of the de-cloaking Reaper. The ship re-cloaks and slips away into the shadows.

Raymond W.

Chapter 1

Thank you for reading my creation. If you enjoyed it and believe others might, please share this story with everyone you know. Chapter 2 can be read here

The TBoD Podcast – 81 – Gettin’ Stuck on the D

Greetings friends,

All the gang is back together on our inaugural fortnightly cast. This episode, we riff on:

Halo 5: Guardians news

Blizzard’s new FPS/MOBA, Overwatch revealed

Arkham City easter eggs still being found

And we discuss the latest trailer for Telltale’s Game of Thrones

Our indie game this week is Zombie Night Terror

Enjoy!

Right-click here and choose ‘save as’ to download.

The TBoD Podcast – 79 – Porn Judge Wang Dong

Goulish greetings Teabaggers!

In honour of Halloween this week, we have a spooky theme running through the show.

More of a discussion show this week, and we also cover:

Black Glove potentially coming to PS4

DayZ – hardcore mode

Fan remake of Resident Evil 2

Enjoy!

Right-click here and choose ‘Save as’ to download

The TBoD Podcast – 77 – The Krapton Fyctor

Hey dudes and dudettes,

Thanks for tuning in for another installment of the TBoD podcast. This week, we talk about:

Dragon Age Inquisition

Halo 1 and Halo 2 gameplay from the Master Chief Collection

With Clementine from Telltale’s The Walking Dead getting her very own action figure, we talk about what unlikely characters we’d like to see as action figures.

Our Indie game this week is Elegy for a Dead World

And finally…we do a short profile of 2BC Productions, a YouTube channel Crinbot has been watching a lot recently.

Right-click here and choose ‘Save as’ to download

As ever, get in touch on Facebook, Twitter, or in the comments below, and head over to YouTube to see out latest videos.

In space, no one can hear you Squeal.

aliens2With nerdgasm fueled glee that is. From the phenomenal development crew at Gearbox (Borderlands 1 & 2, Duke Nukem Forever, Brothers in Arms, and *ahem* Halo CE’s PC Port) comes Aliens: Colonial Marines. This claustrophobic co-op enhanced FPS title is coming on the heels of SEGA’s last foray into this series: Aliens VS Predator made by Rebellion Studios.

Although a decent enough game, AVP’s reboot at the hands of the original developers saw impressive success for a licensed multi-platform title – but still left a less than favorable after taste. It tried earnestly to keep up with the films ever choppy canon, but just didn’t quite make a lasting impression with me.

First it should be known, that I am a huge fan of the films and have seen them multiple times. In fact, I just finished watching the original three films in all of their Directors Cut glory, in anticipation of this game. Gearbox’s Randy Pitchford has demonstrated during developer walkthroughs of Colonial Marines that they are paying immense respect, and homage to James Camerons masterpiece: ALIENS. In fact, Colonial Marines is more or less a direct segue from that film into the events which transpire in the upcoming game.

You and your squad of jarheads are sent in to intercept a long missing Colonial Navy vessel: the USS Sulaco which is now mysteriously in standard orbit above LV-426. (the planet where the film Aliens took place.) From presentations of the game, your mission will take you from the derelict Sulaco, down to the surface of LV-426 to the Hadley’s Hope colony – and straight into the alien hives which according to Gearbox has been lovingly designed directly from the original movie set pieces with loving detail, and to other unknown locales as you fight swarms of Xenomorph baddies. So, it’s safe to say that fans of the film(s) can expect plenty of easter eggs and juicy morsels of fanboy treats.

What seems to set Colonial Marines apart from the AVP series (other than the absence of the Predator) is that this game is being designed as a tight quarters “claustrophobic” co-op experience where your teamwork and perseverance will prove even more useful than your firepower. And speaking of firepower, not only the level design is being drawn straight from the films. From pulse rifles, and Smart Guns to Flamethrowers and the ever iconic Mech-Suit Gearbox is setting you up with an authentic and amazing arsenal with which to conduct your online bug-hunt.

Colonial Marines also offers a heaping pile of multiplayer options which is sure to bolster alot of replay value. Reminiscent of Left 4 Dead’s co-op benchmark, this game pits you and your squad mates against a variety of different types of Alien. There appear to be charger inspired Xenos, as well as suicide acid-bombers, and other wonderful playmates awaiting us. And to add some nostalgic spice to the multiplayer landscape those who pre-order at Gamestop in Canada & the US get playable characters from the original film:

alienspreorder

We’re all praying we hear Bill Paxton’s “GAME OVER MAN” line

The multiplayer mode which has me the most excited is Escape Mode. In which 4 Marines face off against 4 Xenos in an all out fight for survival, and as the title says it one single mission objective: “Escape!” The human squad is made to run a rat maze of control/checkpoints being ever chased by their hungry opponents. Only coordinated teamwork, and a steady trigger finger can ensure good odds in this gametype.

Being ever the cynic, I can’t help but feel slightly concerned after the last Aliens release, but with Gearbox at the helm, and their blatant love and dedication to delivering a top notch and authentic experience, I can safely say that I am highly anticipating this game. Aliens Colonial Marines is set to hit store shelves on Tuesday February 12 in North America and Europe for Playstation 3, XBOX 360, PC and Wii U.

TBoD – Our year calculasered

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for our little blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 19,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 4 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

King of Kong

To celebrate a year since we first started teabagging our words onto your screens I thought that it seemed quite fitting to give my thoughts on a film which shows just how serious some people take their gaming and I think no film illustrates this obsession more than King of Kong.

“This is a war universe. War all the time. There may be other universes but ours seems  to be based on war and games.”  ~ William S. Burroughs

As this quote right at the beginning illustrates, setting records on old school arcade games is taken very very….very seriously. No-one takes it more seriously than the gentlemen at Twin Galaxies International who regulate and verify high scores for a host of classic games and there’s one man who is worshipped above all by this nerd coven. Enter Billy Mitchell.

Billy Mitchell evidently takes Donkey Kong more seriously than his haircut and is initially portrayed as a winner. Fair enough though since the guy is like the Gene Simmons of the arcade having held the world record for this particular game since 1982. Given Billy’s ‘swag’ you can tell he knows his score is untouchable. Until now.

In the blue corner we have our plucky challenger Steve Wiebe, well maybe not plucky more downtrodden. This a guy has tried so hard at numerous things and has been so close to having major success only to come up short and choke when it really counted. He is a truly nice guy despite being totally OCD and from the start you are rooting for him, plus he is like a Donkey Kong rain man and if anyone can beat the mighty Billy’s score its Steve. Which he does on tape whilst his kid is screaming for him to come and wipe his arse,. This man has the skills. Anyway a minor celebrity status ensues and finally for the first time Steve feels a sense of achievement in his life.

The film takes more of a sinister turn at this stage when the group of nerds who Billy is part of take a more mafia style approach and send some minions to Steve’s house to try to find an excuse to invalidate Steve’s score. Watch the film for the specifics but Twin Galaxies says they won’t accept Steve’s tape as they suspect foul play and the new king is quickly dethroned.

Then the day comes where The Guinness Book of World Records comes to town and when Steve hears about it he steps up to prove his worth. Cue the Rocky style montage of Steve fiddling furiously with his joystick, complete with Eye of the Tiger music.

Will Steve succeed and overcome The Illumnerdi? or will The Kongfather Billy Mitchell keep his crown. You will have to watch to find out. You can find it on Netflix and the trailer for this epic battle can be found below.