Witchin’ Ain’t Easy

Intense action, cool weapons, LOADS of monster slaying… and boobs.  That’s right kids, I’m talking about the Witcher 3: Wild Hunt and why you should be playing the hell out of it right now.

Greetings beloved teabaggers!  It’s definitely been more than a few moons since I last sharpened my quill and scribed a post for the fine lexicon of all things gaming here at Teabag Or Die.  Where have I been?  What have I been doing?  School mostly.  But fear not my friends for I have no lost love for gaming.

My most recent digital love affair is exactly that to be honest. Or rather, several love affairs I should say, within the amazingly beautiful (and sexy) RPG spectacular: The Witcher 3.

This isn’t “yo mama’s” RPG and is a tad on the difficult and unforgiving side of the fence for low-level characters and newcomers to the series.  The game’s combat system is incredibly fluid and is easy to pick up on however, after some trial and error.

Rather than brute force, a witcher is dependent on reflex and speed.  Using the right formula of strategic “witcher signs” which offer both offensive and defensive capabilities is something you’ll want to practice.  Pro Tip:  Quen is your friend.

Like it’s predecessors, the Witcher 3 combines tooth and nail action, with a compelling narrative set in a huge grandiose fantasy realm.  Also in true Witcher tradition, the game comes with it’s fair share of action, witty dialogue and gratuitous nudity.

Open World Win Sauce

Unlike the game’s prior installments, however, The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt presents a massive open world for players to wander and explore.  I’m not exaggerating with I say that this game world is immense.


The world of the Witcher 3 is possibly the biggest yet, a true rival to Skyrim and GTA 5

Lurking within this world is a multitude of quest paths and ever-changing story arcs in addition to the game’s main quest.  Players can follow the main story or carve their own path by accepting Witcher contracts, and side quests.  A word to the wise, however:  Ensure you level up and pay attention to the recommended level associated with a mission.  It’s the difference between witchin’ like a boss, or being eaten by one.

True Dedication to the Fans

One highly competitive edge presented by the Witcher is how the game’s developer approaches the matter of DLC.  Regardless of what edition gamers purchase they are instantly entitled to the first 16 DLC packs absolutely FREE.  There are additional DLC elements releasing this fall, that will add up to an additional 30+ hours of gameplay for under 30.00 US.


Each copy of the game included a well written thank you message from CD Projekt Red

While in-game purchasing is becoming a sore spot it’s hard to smear CD Projekt Red for giving 30 or more hours worth of DLC at no charge.  The price of the future DLC s far cheaper than Destiny’s abomination: The Taken King and will undoubtedly offer much more in the way of gaming substance.

With nearly 200 hours of gameplay out of the box and over 30 different potential endings, the Witcher 3 WIld Hunt offers players a plentiful portion of choice, variety, and reasons to re-play it.  In my humble opinion, this is one game that is definitely worth the investment!

Thanks for reading this post.  Have you played the Witcher 3 yet?  Do you have a favorite moment, or gripe?  Drop us a line in the comments and keep checking Teabag Or Die for more awesome content!




2 thoughts on “Witchin’ Ain’t Easy

  1. 198hrs logged at the end. One of the best games I’ve ever played. Without throwing out any spoilers, I thought that the story at the heart of the game was magnificent in every respect. Witcher III is a genre-defining game if ever there was one. Great write-up!

  2. Thanks Ash. I’m taking my time with this, likely 25 hours in. It’s mind-blowingly awesome. Thanks for the feedback!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s